I thought it was hard to wake up yesterday
but opening my eyes was the hardest
But looking back the all day was a nightmare
In fact everything is a nightmare
It's a nightmare so long that it looks normal
But sometimes I wake up
Realizing this is fucked up
But I woke up anyway
I think I might have been home that day
At least I was home in the morning
At least I was home sleeping
But I spent most of the dat worrying

I've tried
I've tried
But nothing
Ever works

I've tried
I've tried
But nothing
Ever works

When I see the train coming in the horizon
I can feel the poison
When it flows inside of my veins
When it flows inside of my brain

Again
Again
I go
I go

Nowhere

And again I find myself eating
eating hamburgers
Well it may just be shit
Well it's really shitty
But it's the only way
The only opportunity
To talk with my dad
To talk with someone

And time flies
Time flies
Time flies
Time flies
Yes time flies
Time flies
Time flies
Time flies
And there's nothing we can do about it

The sun was falling
The day had just begun
It confused me
Should I believe the sun ?

And I received a text
Yes you had texted me
It said "I love you so much"
And I didn't reply
Well I think I had not read it
I had not read it
And I never replied
I never replied
I felt guilty for the whole day
You maybe had something to say
But I did not listen
I did not listen
I told you "I'm sorry"
"Sorry if I'm not stable"
You told me not to worry
But I worried too much

It's not euphoria
It's not utopia
It's not dystopia
Because nobody ever wanted to be good

WHY
are we in
JAIL ??!!? (dissonant harmonies)

(weird guitar solo)

"Go to the hospital"
My mother said
"It's a bad idea"
I replied
But I went to the hospital anyway
I feel like my life is out of control
I feel helpless
In an infinite spiral.

(this one is for you. I hope so)

There is hate everywhere
There is hate everywhere
In everyday life
In the train station
When I buy sandwiches
Always the same ones
Always two and never
only a single one

Kill the sheeps
Kill the sheeps
Kill the sheeps
And then count their bodies

I think it was late at night and kissing felt awkward
The scenery was beautiful and we could hear the birds
It was beautiful but I backed down
All my thoughts were turned upside down
I was doomed to fall onto the ground
And nothing ever improved
And nothing ever improved
Yeah nothing ever improved
And you can still see me falling down

Do you really think I'll survive ?
Do you really think I'll survive ?

I can't live like this
I can't survive like this
We were shooting birds
Down the valley
The car will not drive itself
Will we ever go somewhere ?
I'm waiting for something else
I've never acted but only underwent
I decided to buy some stuff
Way after midnight
And I wandered in the streets
And it was silent
And sometimes when I see
Some cars in the distance
I just stand in the middle of the road
To see if it stops, just to feel alive

I just want to live
I just want to feel alive
And an airplane crashed on a cloud
And an airplane crashed on the world
And a paper airplane crashed in the river
Waiting for the flood
Waiting for the fucking flood

I'm scared
We're scared of you
We are to scared
This shit could kill us
ALL

*drugs are bad but they can wake you up. I do consider those pills to be drugs. They are keeping me stable, they keep lots of people stable. And if my therapist gave them to me, it's because they can help, and so I agreed and even asked for more. And I was not addicted, but it was really close, I began to feel my breakdowns even more, but at least I was feeling more than before*

I'm wearing my seatbelt
I have my own airbag
I'm just waiting
for this fucking car to
CRASH

Avoiding the needles
Praising the pills
Avoiding the needles
Praising the pills
Avoiding the needles
And your grave
Avoiding the needles
And your grave
All of my dreams take place in my home
And they always take a wrong turn
And when they seem pretty positive
It's because they don't feel real at all

I wish I could live
I wish I could sleep
I wish I could die
I wish I could start
Start, all over again
I wish I could stop
Stop listening to the rain

We are all going to hell
We are all going to hell
We are all going to hell
We are all going to hell
We are all going to hell
We are all going to hell
We are all going to hell
And I'm waiting for something to happen cause I don't know how to make it all better and I'm a mess and a fucking void

This whole thing is so fucked up
I fucking hate everyday life
And emptiness
They are what we call adults
Weird humans trapped in viciousness
I wish I could be a child
I want to be a child
I wish I could be better
I want to be better
I wish I could die happy
I want to die
I wish I could go home

I wanna go home