more from
Talitres

A thousand doors, just one key

by Feldup

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      €8 EUR  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Feldup "A Thousand Doors, Just One Key", CD, Digipack with booklet; This is a pre-order. Physical release: August 21, 2020. Pre-orders will ship by or before the August 21, 2020 release date.

    Includes unlimited streaming of A thousand doors, just one key via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 1 day
    Purchasable with gift card

      €13 EUR or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    LP (Black Vinyl, gatefold 2 LP, w/ digital download). This is a pre-order. Physical release: August 21, 2020. Pre-orders will ship by or before the August 21, 2020 release date.

    Includes unlimited streaming of A thousand doors, just one key via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 1 day
    Purchasable with gift card

      €22 EUR or more 

     

1.
In our little bedrooms We closed our eyes Thinking it would Appease the fire We heard the screamings From all the windows We couldn't decipher It faded in the snow We couldn't stop We couldn't stop the fire It was growing Growing everyday And we, we should erase All our memories They poisoned our hearts They made us scream We couldn't stop We couldn't stop the fire It was growing Growing everyday (aaaah) I'm slowly destroying myself Becoming all I hate Building my own hell But I can't communicate Believe me when I say We'll build a bridge Above the city That will lead us all to HEAVEN We said our prayers And we broke our voice We will come back again And we, and we, AND WE Let me say to you What I think again I think I did enough mistakes Enough mistakes (aaaah)
2.
When people came to see me they didn't see shit Tubes inside of my head Pushing the blood from within Someday I'll feel better I hope I won't be afraid to Kill time like I used to Now I'm just terrified of you Let me fall apart again, I'm scared of the people Let me fall apart again Cuz life is kind of meaningless (take the train) I've been twisted and torn By the speed of the days Sometimes I wish I was born Light years away Far away from this shitshow The people dying around me My grandma terminally ill Stuck in parkinson's disease A foot on the cliff The other one in the void I don't want to break down Again again again AGAIN Let me fall apart again, I'm scared of the people Let me fall apart again Cuz life is kind of meaningless (take the train)
3.
Attention 03:54
I don't want to have sex I just want to succeed I have little problems With my self esteem Do you cry at night ? When you get rejected Or when your best friend Tells you to love yourself ? Could I ask for a drink I lied to get your attention Would you be mine Just for a little night I like staging my life Cuz it makes it seem like It's an exciting one It makes me feel alive What is your favorite band I hope we can't dance To there most famous song I prefer when they are long Could I ask for a drink I lied to get your attention Would you be mine Just for a little night I won't go to your place I'm terrified of sex I don't want to come and Go cry in your toilets While your drunk as hell Cuz your favorite drink's Not a soft cocktail And I'm too sober to fake Could I ask for a drink I lied to get your attention Would you be mine Just for a little night I just don't want to be alone Please don't believe me at all I'm just asking For those in the back Who cares ?
4.
Take it slow 04:39
I hope someday you’ll understand That it’s never been so intense I’m okay inside the plane Just when is it gonna land ? Is it just gonna fade In the distance ? Time deforms the images Lost control and lost feelings Is there a kid behind the frames I don’t recall his first name It’s vanishing In small pieces Disappearing In the air Sometimes I want to call my friends When I’m crying in my bed I always have trouble explaining What’s going on inside my head It’s not complex It’s just a mess Time deforms the images Lost control and lost feelings Is there a kid behind the frames I don’t recall his first name It’s vanishing In small pieces Disappearing In the air Time deforms the images Lost control and lost feelings Is there a kid behind the frames I don’t recall his first name It’s vanishing In small pieces Disappearing In the air
5.
I woke up on my own As always I'm alone, I failed last night I don't even want to know Why I wanted to go, My first and last try Tried to turn, tried to run On my way home, chasing a lie But I'll keep waking up I don't want to stop Even though it hurts We can make this world A little less cold A little less cold A little less cold I try to dodge the calls I was banging on the walls, the pain was sly I can force myself To be someone else, It's a hard lie Haven't ever been Haven't ever been happy at least just once But I'll keep waking up I don't want to stop Even though it hurts We can make this world A little less cold A little less cold A little less cold A little less cold A little less cold
6.
I can't deny my mental health is really on the decline But it's fine, I chose to stay, I chose to say that I'm fine Walking along the sidewalk, talking to some pigeons And when my friends will call, I'll tell them that I'm not alone I'm not alone... No conversations Waiting for someone Nobody listens Cuz nobody cares enough The story's not funny at all, so why are people laughing ? I'm the show, I'm the show. Hope you're having a good time I hate that part of the song where the chorus just ends Wishing it could go on and on, 'til we get tired of the dance the dance... No conversations Waiting for someone Nobody listens Cuz nobody cares enough I'm slowly destroying myself But they won't notice I'm on my decline But they won't notice The orchestra is still playing So just dance, dance, dance The orchestra is playing for you So just dance, dance, dance DANCE
7.
So heavy 02:19
Maybe one day I'll find sleep I'll manage to find an escape I hear the birds It's the middle of march Sunbeams in my sunken eyes Oh I'm 18 now I know the world will keep on spinning Even if I had to disappear I'll be there with you one day And we'll be surfin the skies But maybe one day I'll find love I'll run away from this city That I have Always tried to dodge And I'd stop being so lonely I was born to never be free But as always I get so caught in the dream That one day I'll wake up from this Reality seems so distant from me Yet my heart seems so heavy
8.
The spiral 03:28
Let me rest on your chest It just feeds my pain You spin in my head I wish it had left Inside my heart there's a sinking feeling Everytime you dance with him I can't help it, when I'm crying I'm in my bed, looking for help Spinning again, you numb my pain But you feed it, my love will not change You're my pain Will you listen to me If I try to speak My heart is falling We're all mentally ill Waiting for my train But it never came Could you take my hand One last day... Is there a drug, that's strong enough To make my brain forget your face So I can just, just live again You paralyzed my love but I can't Live without it I can't help it, when I'm crying I'm in my bed, looking for help Spinning again, you numb my pain But you feed it, my love will not change You're my pain
9.
The train stops, people walk in Faces showing nothing in Boring talks and music Never felt so lonely Happy to blend in This city is empty An empty bottle We are bubbles in the ocean's ripples Almost gave up When it stopped It will start again Start again Almost gave up When it stopped It will start again Start again Crushed in by people's shoulders Screaming til it stops to hurt Abuse got no reaction They just let it happen And scream hard they might hear you Make it cold and sincere So one day they'll notice And scream back with tears And never look back Don't fear death We're all gonna die Don't let that stop you Almost gave up When it stopped It will start again Start again Almost gave up When it stopped It will start again Start again Almost gave up When it stopped It will start again Start again Almost gave up When it stopped It will start again Start again Start again... Start again... Don't breakdown Your wheeping is fuel For the people who make the rules And fly away little bird Scream them those goddamn words They are beautiful Only when they come From the bottom of your guts
10.
Stockholm 11:21
I failed last night, again And all my friends are going to sleep I'm five days past my birthday party But I never really thought about it I never realized how stupid it was It didn't stop me from drinking Or from creating a tinder account Or from ever matching with anyone Ooooooooh I still get bad thoughts in the subway I still think about you everyday I still think I'm a toxic friend I still want to see all of them There is no cure I am the disease There is no cure I am the disease So now that I've blown the candles I realize I couldn't handle Their looks and their giggles Pressuring me to pop a bottle Took a look at your place Saw you hid all the mess To fake that it was clean You know how messy I can be I still think you lied to me Comforted me with your fantasies Telling me that one day We'll get away I'm not my parents' son I was born in an ocean An ocean of marketing schemes That worked on me perfectly I'm in a car that only accelerates But I think they removed the brakes Try to find a home in a battlefield Kept under a giant metal shield Try to pay your debts and try to forget Did they actually want us to feel depressed Speeding Speeding Speeding The train Until my inevitable death I'm in a car that only accelerates But I think they removed the brakes Maybe we could have seen colors if we weren't all colorblind I gotta feed my kids but when it'll collapse it won't matter... really... Sometimes my shoulders feel so heavy, I wanna give up Sometimes stopping the fight's... - It's tempting It took us years to get to this point We never knew why we wanted it People have grown up since I've been stuck on my past mistakes A few little things Some words I shouldn't have said Or shouldn't have sung And shouldn't have erased I'm in love with my abusers Isolation is a deadly weapon I'm in love with my abusers Isolation is a deadly weapon I woke up one day I couldn't walk nor could I stand My body couldn't resist Now I think I understand Jerome are you still proud of me ? Jerome are you still proud of me ? Take care of Karen please... Take care of Karen please... There is no cure I am the disease There is no cure I am the disease
11.
Paris I hate you, I hate you so much With your thousand doors To get us lost The pressure to succeed No matter the cost No place where people Can talk Paris I hate you, Please don't ever change You're just like an Abusive girlfriend The shock when people Get hit by a train They leave a sigh On our grave Paris I hate you so much Paris I hate you, you're the sickness Drugstores in every Fucking place Addicted to your sleeping pills They help me to keep up With your beat Oh paris tell me why Tell me why it's so still Why do I cry myself To sleep I'll drink myself to death every week Until my body Can't take it Paris I hate you, You changed me Killed the child in my heart Only, you replaced it with sex and hate We think we are complex But we ain't Paris, I'm drunk I don't know where to go Should I come home Scrip another show But I've no house here Home is where your mind is Home is where your mind is... So don't answer no calls 'Cause I won't be here tomorrow So don't answer no calls 'Cause I won't be here tomorrow So don't answer no calls 'Cause I won't be here tomorrow So don't answer no calls 'Cause I won't be here tomorrow This city is a maze It's easy to get in It's harder to leave it But you know I don't want to learn To learn Paris, I hate you I don't want to change Paris I'm your child Give me respect I'm everything I ever hated It's not okay... Paris Cut the thread that forces me to stay... ... So I can be free

about

"A thousand doors, just one key" is a concept album, not because it follows a distinct narrative (even though it kinda does imo) but because all the tracks tackle the same themes and the same setting. Last october, I moved to Paris for my studies. I thought it was gonna be easy, my youtube channel was finally getting some recognition ans I was gonna study a subject I loved but something I hadn't really anticipated was how utterly lonely, sad and stressed I would feel. People started dying all around me, I became less and less invested in my social life, the world started crashing down once again with tensions between Iran and the USA (and obviously, the coronavirus), I started losing lots and lots of sleep, losing friends and losing hope. I became self destructive and crushed by the city that I've always hated.

The influences on that record are sometimes really easy to pinpoint : you can interpret that record as some sort of weird homage to my major inspirations

This is a record about loneliness and confusion. Hope you'll like it, it sounds sad on paper but it's actually my poppiest record, so, enjoy it !




"A thousand doors, just one key" est un concept album, pas par ce qu'il raconte une histoire précise (même si en réalité un peu quand même) mais car tous les morceaux abordent les mêmes thèmes et le même décor. En octobre dernier, je me suis mis à vivre à Paris pour mes études. Je pensais que ça allait être simple, ma chaîne youtube marchait enfin et j'allais étudier un sujet que j'adore mais quelque chose que je n'avais pas anticipé était à quel point j'allais me sentir seul, triste et stressé. Des gens ont commencé à mourir autour de moi, je me suis investi de moins en moins dans ma vie sociale, le monde est parti en couille une nouvelle fois avec des tensions entre les USA et l'Iran (et le coronavirus, bien sur), j'ai commencé à perdre beaucoup de sommeil, d'amis et d'espoir. Je suis devenu autodestructeur, je me suis fait écrasé par cette ville que j'ai toujours détesté.

Les influences de cet album sont très faciles à retrouver : vous pouvez interpréter ce disque comme une sorte d'étrange hommage à mes inspirations majeures

C'est un album qui parle de solitude et de confusion. J'espère que vous l'aimerez, ça sonne triste dit comme ça mais en réalité c'est mon album le plus accessible et pop, amusez vous bien !

credits

released June 26, 2020

license

tags

about

Feldup France

I want to make music.

contact / help

Contact Feldup

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Feldup, you may also like: