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Moments of Sobriety

from Stared at from a Distance by Feldup

/
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lyrics

Found myself in a hotel room
With a rock inside my throat
In this moment I’m like a kid again
And I can’t find my way home
The drug is wearing off and I need
To pick up my clothes
I’m naked in a stranger’s place
I don’t know how I got there

I can still feel my head
Getting light on that July day
This girl got me locked inside her gaze
I want to see her again
But you come out the shower naked
With a smile that splits your face
I don’t feel like saying no
’cause I can tell you enjoy yourself
So I lay down, turn my head and feign pleasure
I see a dark figure in the corner
My body hurts like hell I’m petrified with fear
As I feel her closer than she’ll ever be

And I say “slower”
I say “slower”
I say “slower”
And after a minute, she hears me
Maybe I wanted to sink that day
To touch the bottom of the ocean
’cause I wanted to swim ’til I was free
And I figured I didn’t need to breathe
I might be still swimming to my death
There’s an anchor attached to my leg
You claimed me as your land
Like a dog pissing on my face

And I will die but sooner than they think
And I hope it feels just like being a kid
Who’s falling asleep in a car piercing through the rain
I don’t want to notice my conscience
Fading away
Away

And I hope it feels just like being a kid
And I can hear them laugh through the walls
A tender warmth an overwhelming bliss
So soft, I’d happily drift into eternity

I gazed towards the crowd
The sand was pushing on my back
And in the depths of the sky
I saw a face that looked like yours
You were not here but I felt your presence
The ever so soft touch of your hand
Far away from all I had ever felt
I wanted to see you again
Just like in July
All over again
I wanted to be caught in your gaze
That’s why I kept breathing

credits

from Stared at from a Distance, released November 10, 2023

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Feldup France

I want to make music.

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