The party starts I know I used to sing about heavy shit And all the failures I did But today it's gonna change It's gonna change Yeah, FUCK IT UP Bring the alcohol, bring all the smoke Drink until you have a stroke There will be people having sex In the bed, the floor and the toilets I want it to spread everywhere Tired of holding back, smoke your cigarettes Let's make the ultimate mistake Two lovers why not three ? Why not five and why not fifty ? Make it a day your younger self Would have fucking hated The girls will blow boys To have some free drinks Let's scream, vomit, pass out Until we all fucking die And when you wake up Just continue to mess it up This is my missing part This is for all the broken hearts now FUCK IT the party starts

We were drinking the days away Smoking weed on the sand And the rocks in front of the horizon Reflecing infinite numbers of passions Messy guitar chords everywhere Trying to fit with the beat of the waves All crashing on the shore with a lovely sound As there were footprints on the ground We were arguing a lot with that girl I couldn't tell if she hated us But she brought weed for my brother And he surely did not like her We are just teen fucks We are just teen wrecks Trying to find a way through the mess of our lives Tomorrow we'll sort this shit out We are just teen fucks We are just teen wrecks Trying to find a way through the mess of our lives Tomorrow we'll sort this shit out Heard this girl talk about getting banged In the back of a van Telling us it had been great While I couldn't tell how she'd look like Naked Naked And I remember when we were young Chasing eachother in the sun When love and holding hands Were pretty much the same It was great And I remember when we were young Chasing eachother in the sun When love and holding hands Were pretty much the same And I kind of miss the days When you'd try to say I love you to this prick You'd end up hating He put his hand on your hand And in your sacred underwear You told it to me with tears in your eyes Trauma coming back so fast I hope you're well We are just teen fucks We are just teen wrecks Trying to find a way through the mess of our lives Tomorrow we'll sort this shit out We are just teen fucks We are just teen wrecks Trying to find a way through the mess of our lives Tomorrow we'll sort this shit out

Two bodies connected by a thread The outside world feels like a threat My thoughts are caressing your face You fill my loneliness Though there are wasps in my lungs I'd still taste your rose scent All the lyrics I sung Somewhere were there to comfort you Karen I know it doesn't work like that I want to be the name on your leg But you won't let me in And my heart said "Do you knoooow ? your numbness is gonna defeat you ! Do you knoooow ? No you don't know shit" "Do you knoooow ? your numbness is gonna defeat you ! Do you knoooow ? No you don't know shit" Give me a cigarette Though I don't smoke I'm just giving my body What my body deserves Give me time I'm so impatient I'm just trying to calm down But you get on my nerves But what if I don't match your perfectness I hope someday you will change What if I told you nothing face to face ? What if I died before I - ... before I... Shit The world does not fit well with this fantasy Maybe I'm daydreaming this whole thing Did you feel my tears, on your shoulder ? When I laid my head like a broken lover The spine of the dragonfly Breaks apart and bends The leaves never fell to the ground I hope it never ends aaaah... And the days And the days And the days Go on And your face And your face And your face's Bossom Let me rest On your dreams The softest Matress I know it's A messy fantasy I'm just Trying to Hold on To something Worth it Let me hold your hand I don't care what they say I won't cry in the end Fuck it I wanna kiss, hug, fuck and daaaaaaaaaaaaaance.. [solo] "Do you knoooow ? your numbness is gonna defeat you ! Do you knoooow ? No you don't know shit" "Do you knoooow ? your numbness is gonna defeat you ! Do you knoooow ? No you don't know shit" YOU HATE YOURSELF YOU HATE YOURSELF SO HOW COULD YOU LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE ? YOU HATE YOURSELF YOU HATE YOURSELF SO HOW COULD YOU LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE ? YOU HATE YOURSELF YOU HATE YOURSELF SO HOW COULD YOU LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE ? YOU HATE YOURSELF YOU HATE YOURSELF SO HOW COULD YOU LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE ?

Sometimes I get lost in houses that everyone knows I get confused as to why this skirt pleases you I hope I wont offend The last thing I would want would be to lose a friend Oooo Oooo (should I keep) Oooo (should I keep) Oooo (Lying to myself ?) Oooo Oooo Oooo (should I keep) Oooo (Lying to myself ?) Please tell me you're fine Ripped jeans and maroon shirt Don't know if these tastes are mine Sometimes I just wanna wear a skirt It's easy to get lost inside your mind I'm screaming inside all the tiiiiiiiime Oooo Oooo Oooo ("Still like you") Oooo ('but as a friend") I lose myself in the questions It's the only thing that stays the saaaaaaaaaame Oooo (I'm sorry) Oooo (I don't want) To lie I'm sorry I don't want to lie to myself again.

Are you smiling ? At least from the inside ? Do you feel the lightning In your heart ? There's vomit on my shirt But it isn't mine Enjoy yourself, enjoy it And stop to whiiiiine YOU'RE HAVING FUN You just DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT YOU'RE FEELING LOST You just DON'T WANT TO FEEL IT So stop to whine You're ruining the night Drink the liquor Drink the wine Enjoy those flashing lights I keep getting out But I always come back Holding my breath To release it outside It's how adults are having fun It's how adults release stress It's how adults deal with it Suicide, depression and emptiness kill me. It's my SPIIIIDEEERLAAAAND MY SPIDERLAND my spiderland... So KILL ME It's HOW IT ALL ENDS You're having fun You just don't want to admit it You're feeling lost You just don't want to feel it YOU'RE HAVING FUN You just DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT YOU'RE FEELING LOST You just DON'T WANT TO FEEL IT So stop to whine You're ruining the night Drink the liquor Drink the wine Enjoy those flashing lights So stop to whine You're ruining the night Drink the liquor Drink the wine Enjoy those flashing lights (Fuck... Why the fuck is it so noisy ??? Fuck... Let me do what I want... Fuck...)

Turn off the lights And don't look at me There's noise outside We can come to see Sleep on the bed I'll sleep on the floor And kiss your forehead As I stare at the door Just ignore the tears And my weeping How did I become So unhappy ? And just be quiet You can ignore me If it comforts you, It comforts me... You'll forget me Like they all do I'm not upset though I'll do it for you I try to erase All the thoughts Before all hell Crashes on us Just ignore the tears And my weeping How did I become So unhappy ? And just be quiet You can ignore me If it comforts you, It comforts me... And if I could be Seven again I would do everything In the same way The hardest part Of it all is that You'll never be able To recall... Just ignore the tears And my weeping How did I become So unhappy ? And just be quiet You can ignore me If it comforts you, It comforts me... Just ignore the tears And my weeping How did I become So unhappy ? And just be quiet You can ignore me If it comforts you, It comforts me...

Last night You went to my house Falling down In your eyes It could work out But I'm paralysed It could work out But I'm paralysed And I'm too numb Everytime you look at me Everytime you talk to me I can't move I can't speak Just keep smiling... I don't want to miss you I've already lost too much You do my remembering for me You make me feel lost Decaying in the moss I won't get over you If you're over me And I'm too numb Everytime you look at me Everytime you talk to me I can't move I can't speak And I'm too numb Everytime you look at me Everytime you talk to me I can't move I can't speak

Again I can't sleep at midnight Because there's too much noise outside But I know we are gonna join in And get wasted for the sake of it Because I want to impress you Ooooo Because I want to see you Ooooo I'm not writing your name here But you know I'm talking to you Just know I don't wanna die now Though my life is a lie Because I need to be with you Ooooo Because it comforts me Ooooo There will be girls that turn you on While some boys may turn me But it doesn't work, my heart Can not be split in two parts Because I'm in love with you Ooooo But you don't love me Ooooo It's been 2 years and I've been hiding it All the meds the breakdowns are secret But I confessed it all in one night And I cried alone at midnight Because I fuckin' hate myself Ooooo Because that shit's hard to unvail Ooooo Do you care for my daily walks Do you hate our sweet daily talks Sometimes I wanna die But you bring me back, bring me back Because I'm addicted to you Ooooo I'm fucking wasted Ooooo It's like every stenza is a new drink I just want to wrap myself in Your soft scent, your soft lips Hold your soft heart, and your soft hips- AaaaAaah.... Because I love you Ooooo Because I need you Ooooo Please don't censor this one This one song If it becomes my swan song Please don't runaway Don't runaway Love is a stupid game to play And the party never should have started Please don't runaway Don't runaway Please don't runaway

Swing your hips 'till they tell you to stop But the party never ends, you'll never wake up Don't tell me this is a dance You're just making love in advance Yeah, you're on molly, your breath stinks But you're not better, your heart shrinks Are you tired of waiting cause I am So many things are happening But nothing inside So when people are not looking I hide in a corner I take a deep breath And a little bit of lex Some caffeine to stay awake More than I can take But I need to be fake I need to be fake Yeah I'm only 17 But they are all teens too Trying not be kids That's a very childish thing to do People need become someone else It's why they drink too much Anxiety is killing us We are losing touch The feelings come, the feelings go We try to avoid it, we try to fill the void that's in our heart So when people are not looking I hide in a corner I take a deep breath And a little bit of lex Some caffeine to stay awake More than I can take But I need to be fake I need to be fake Can't wait to grow up I hope I won't regret it

Tonight I'm gonna try to look at the sky To see if there are any stars But the city lights are like your eyes They look like stars but there's nothing inside This song is an ode to my loneliness To the guys who played with my heart They say you shouldn't have remorse They say you shouldn't have regrets Cuz you're gonna bury them with your corpse Tell that to your 40 year old self Let me drink like the waste of sperm I am Let me cry over photographs Let me hurt myself everynight So I can look at you with a fake smile In the love I give The red turns to pink And I cry in the sink Your eyes are my kink It hurts when I think Cuz my pain's in my ink In the love I give The red turns to pink And I cry in the sink Your eyes are my kink It hurts when I think Cuz my pain's in my ink [Awkward drunk solo] I have no idea what I'm doing It feels like my life is drifting I'm gonna turn 18 soon I'm gonna be an adult soon Still have no idea how to buy a house Still have no idea how to get a job Still have no idea how to have sex Still have no idea why I should have sex Still have no idea where my soulmate is, they promised me Still have no idea where the clitoris is Still have no idea what my meds are Still have no idea how to turn on the radar And I still don't know if I'm a man or a woman I still don't know why I hate my penis I still don't know why I hate drinking And I still don't know why I hate risking I still don't know what the hell you're saying I still don't know why I'm not listening I still don't know why emergency rooms are so cold I only know what I've been told I only live through my remorse My parents are getting a divorce Why can't I look you in the eye Yeah, just fucking, just fucking stop In the love I give The red turns to pink And I cry in the sink Your eyes are my kink It hurts when I think Cuz my pain's in my ink In the love I give The red turns to pink And I cry in the sink Your eyes are my kink It hurts when I think Cuz my pain's in my ink And again let's change the pace I grew a disgust to this kind of nights Throwing up guts while saying I'm alright This ain't my thing. So why the hell am I here ? There's a guy standing next to me, asking me if I want any drugs. I say "no" cuz I hate it, but he still gave me his number and some ecstasy. I told him "I don't even know how to consume it." He replied "Just eat it you're fucking stupid" So he gave me a hug, and he took back his drug and I was like Yeah Yeah what the fuck ? In the love I give The red turns to pink And I cry in the sink Your eyes are my kink It hurts when I think Cuz my pain's in my ink In the love I give The red turns to pink And I cry in the sink Your eyes are my kink It hurts when I think Cuz my pain's in my ink What if the beat, what if the pace changes completely I don't know where the keys of my house are I lost them inside the car My phone has no battery left But the thought came to my head Why the hell do I fake it ? If it makes me so sad. The plane goes away in the distance Makin' it harder for me To communicate Anything else than pure hate Try to catch him by the wings And rip them apart It's a bird without wings And without feelings Tell me please : Do you feel it ? That void in your chest You lost yourself in quarters of lex It's not just a heartache I'm so drunk I don't even know where you are When people are a GPS But do you really think I can live like this ? Is it really how it's gonna be ? But do you really think I can live like this ? Is it really how it's gonna end ? The plane goes away in the distance Makin' it harder for me To communicate Anything else than pure hate Try to catch him by the wings And rip them apart It's a bird without wings And without feelings NEVER LOSE THE FLIIIIIIIGHT NEVER LOSE THE FLIGHT NEVER LOSE THE FLIIIIIIIGHT NEVER LOSE THE FLIGHT [solo] NEVER LOSE THE FLIIIIIIIGHT NEVER LOSE THE FLIGHT NEVER LOSE THE FLIIIIIIIGHT NEVER LOSE THE FLIGHT (AGAIIIIIIIN) NEVER LOSE THE FLIGHT

The "closed" signs turn, lights shut off A few footsteps and a streetlight in an open camp Stars shine, you left, you may be sleeping In a soft bed where I wish we could have slept I wish we could have sit on the beach And watch the veil of clouds fall on the sea And tears fall smiles stay, apologies are heard But the worst sound ever is the lack of words Sometimes I hurt myself to not feel the sadness Sometimes I don't wash the blood to feel the shame I wish I could have been more and less I'd be better if you could have felt the same And people walk, they laugh, they cry And the lights shut off for the sky to shine Sometimes I feel like the loneliness Is necessary for me to write something honest And there's broken glass in my heart But it has kept on beating ever since the start Sometimes I wish it could have stopped When it started to hurt my skin The needles dig a hole inside Opening everything so wide And I'm still bargaining Let's go back to the beggining And there's broken glass in my heart But it has kept on beating ever since the start Sometimes I wish it could have stopped When it started to hurt my skin The needles dig a hole inside Opening everything so wide And I'm still bargaining Let's go back to the beggining When I close my eyes you come back to haunt me You're in the coloris, the corner of every street If you wanted me to go slow and easy I would have done it in a heartbeat My heart is torn and in shreds I'm squeezing the rope 'til my hands turn red I don't want to die in a world where I missed An opportunity to blow and steal you a little kiss Something soft and sweet and pointless I don't knwo why I care so much But tomorrow I'll wake up again Faking that everything is fine and well I'll talk to you, laugh with you And make small hints of love only you could tell And again your face will turn to a beautiful red And I'll smile though inside there's a fucking hurricane And if one day you echo with the love that's in my chest Just know I needed this all my life and With you I'd spend the rest The rest Oh I love you... And there's broken glass in my heart But it has kept on beating ever since the start Sometimes I wish it could have stopped When it started to hurt my skin The needles dig a hole inside Opening everything so wide And I'm still bargaining Let's go back to the beggining And there's broken glass in my heart But it has kept on beating ever since the start Sometimes I wish it could have stopped When it started to hurt my skin The needles dig a hole inside Opening everything so wide And I'm still bargaining Let's go back to the beggining I don't know why I keep falling in love if it hurts so much. I don't know why I keep falling in love if it hurts so much. I don't know why I keep falling in love if it hurts so much. I don't know why I keep falling in love if it hurts so much. I don't know why I keep falling in love if it hurts so much. I don't know why I keep falling in love if it hurts so much. I don't know why I keep falling in love if it hurts so much. I don't know why I keep falling in love if it hurts so much. (So this is it. This is how it all ends. Ok. So I'm sending you this voicemail Karen because... I've been trying to contact you the whole night. I've just realized that you've left the party and that I was alone so I left too and I hope you... I hope you didn't sleep alone. I just want you to be happy, that's it. I've been trying to call you because I-... there's a weird feeling in my heart and in my stomach. I'm feeling very weak right now... And you know... I just ... ... Yeah I love you... You know I didn't have fun, nobody had fun, you didn't have fun, nobody at fun at this shitty party. We all go here because we need to drink, we all go here because we need to take drugs, and after all we're all just so unhappy. It made me realize why I'm so unhappy. So, I hope you're not mad at me, I hope you still think about and you still care for me. Because I still care for you. I don't know if I'm ever gonna wake up again, but yeah, I love you and the party never should have started in the first place...) [Painful coughs of someone that's about to die]

I guess it's this one, the one pill you shouldn't take This is it, my swan song but in a pathetic way I don't know what happened, maybe it's my emotions Or I've taken too much of my prescriptions It started with just that : prescriptions It escalated quickly now it's an addiction There's a nurse in the ambulance right now I heard her say, there's a few minutes left before I die It shakes they are going so fucking fast I don't wanna die it's quite ironic I tried to kill myself so many times now I just want to live And yeah there's an intense pain in my heart It's been aching and aching so hard I'm trying to grieve to mourn my own death To accept, my regrets, the percocets I take They took my breath. I'm so fucking cold And burning at the same time Why ? Why does it have to happen right now ? I never told Karen that I loved her I didn't say enough that I loved my brothers I didn't play in any concert, any song to My grandmother, my father And the ambulance stops, they take me in a hurry Am I worth the investment ? They are so many... Nurses, surgeons I have no idea what they are doing They are running around, spinning, spinning They are pulling tubes in, injecting morphine They sting, bringing more medicine. I'm trying to scream but I can't make a sound I'm pushing so hard on my throat but nothing comes out I'm trying to leave this quiet mind But nothing won't let me come back And I'm slowly running out of time I didn't want this to happen right now About to flatline My mother and my father are not here I know they are divorcing but I'm dying Mathew, my brother, why are you here ? I don't want you to see me dead You won't be able to save me. Please don't get upset Just let me go and have no remorse, no regret Please. Please it hurts me to see you cry even harder Every second the echo of your weeping gets louder Karen, Charles, Why did you come over ? Go home now the party is over Just try to move on, tell her I love her Her smile is the only thing that matters Mathew stop banging on the wall, screaming Stop shouting they won't let you in I see some flashes of a life I never liked Reminding me how fucking cold I was inside All the times I attempted suicide All the times I disappointed Aline All the times I didn't call you Aline. And Alice I'm walking towards you I can see you on the other side of the room The thought of a life without people like you I've never been able to move on to something new I'm stuck and I had to walk down the hall With your pictures hung all over the walls With your name fading away from the speeches A memory sucking on my blood like leeches Craving a time where it didn't have to be this difficult Where I had not the feeling it was my fault I'm sorry Alice, I lost myself I wish we could have talked more I'm trying to keep your memory alive I can't no more There's a voice in my head yelling I fucked up I'm trying so hard to wake up My limbs are numb, I'm hovering over my body I'm trying to fly back inside but they won't let me Fuck it. My parents aren't here yet They are gonna regret and blame it on themselves They are gonna forget, this trainwreck The pictures of my face, my room will be replaced My legacy will be erased So they can grieve my death I've died I guess on an hospital bed With my last gasping breath I'm sorry surgeons, and I'm sorry nurses Sorry to everyone who cared Sorry if I wasn't there, Sorry Charles I know you thought it was getting better But Karma's swinging at me for my failures Sorry mom, sorry dad Those texts I shouldn't have looked at Sorry my teachers, my friends Who believed every word I said Where I told them I was fine While in the hospital dying And I'm sorry for everyone I lied to I'm sorry if it was you Please do what I told you to do I'm sorry mathew Go to Florence and taste it Make it a trip you'll never forget. And sorry brothers If I wasn't always there with you If I prefered singing in the streets Rather than being with you Cuz I would think too much on making my dreams come true I forgot taking care of my family was important too And when I saw you crying after the divorce I realized I should have seen you and been with you there along And sorry for all the mistakes, for all the misteps The laziness, sorry for everything, it's too late But somewhere I know you can hear it Sorry Karen, sorry everyone I see surgeons throwing shit on the ground Screaming at eachother, running all around Nurses run in the room, so many people come in They press on my chest, lean over the bed Try to fill the leaks of blood and the lack of air Things are getting blurry I'm slowly distancing myself from this dream And I hear nothing Except an infinite echo of my brother's scream Getting louder every second As I fly in the tunnel My mind is not in the hospital anymore And then I feel a shock, just when I was feeling peace Every turns to black, I can't even think This is it. I'm dead But shocks keep coming A second, a third, a fourth, I'm shaking I wish the pain I'm feeling could be the end of my death I wish the pain in my chest could be a brand new breath I wish my brother had calmed down I just know the trauma is there no matter what I hear a small thump, don't know where it started I guess it's the echo of my heart I'm yelling inside Is it the end Please god Please GOD GIVE ME A SECOND CHANCE Please... Please... When I woke up noone was in the room I died on the first of july and woke up on the fourth It's 8AM, I guess it's time I pull the tubes out as the alarms out of tune I open the door, mathew and Karen are sleeping I lay a kiss on her forehead she doesn't wake up Tears are running on my face You know it right that the party never should have started in the first place The party never should have started in the first place